I know I’ve focused mostly on my tarot readings, but I want to share more about Venus’ retrograde. “She” only goes retrograde every year and a half, which means that from Earth’s perspective, it appears that the planet is going in reverse (meanwhile everything else continues to move forward). It often means that the planet goes back into the sign that it had just gone through. One could think of it as a cosmic mulligan, and a chance to review what has and hasn’t worked in that area of your life (depends on the house in lands in now, compared to your birth chart). For Venus, it means all aspects feminine, especially what you value in terms of love and money. She rules with grace, beauty and charm, and dictates what give us pleasure in life. Since she is at home in the signs of Taurus and Libra, she is most “uncomfortable” and out of place in Scorpio, which happens to be where she is currently retracing her proverbial steps. With Scorpio being prone to instinctively go into the depth of emotions, or the underworld, it’s a time to really “own” what isn’t working for you and clear it up, before she moves forward again, essentially setting a reset button.
In talking with my Sister about my recent reflections, she reminded me that even though I feel like I have so much more to learn about evolutionary astrology, I do in fact know a great deal already. For the past two years, it’s been a deepening spiritual tool. I’m also really excited to share that I’ve decided to make a big commitment and begin a year long course in evolutionary astrology. All that I’ve learned has been so amazing, and this is the first course like this ever being taught by my first/favorite astrologer, Kaypacha, and his “dream team” of astrologers at New Paradigm Astrology. I can only imagine how much I’ll learn in an intensive year.
OK, on to my daily reading, which per usual feels like an uncanny repetition of everything I’m here to experience and work through.
Guardian of Earth (Queen of Pentacles) is ready to harvest what they’ve been sowing, in terms of financial abundance. There is a sense of dependable security, and a healthy level of comfort and satisfaction. Interesting, when I first started learning tarot, the Queen of Pentacles was the card that came up again and again, and my teacher clearly identified as me (which now makes sense given that both Venus and Mars are conjunct in Taurus, an earth sign, in my birth chart). Yet, since getting this deck, I’ve continued to get the Elder of Earth more often, and I really do believe that it’s because the card has a woman to depict the “King” energy. In either case, this is absolutely the energy that I want to create/sustain, and that I know comes naturally to me, when I’ve got my “grove on.”
Ten of Fire (Wands) …That’s the thing though, as the Ten of Fire reminds me, I’ve been in an intense phase, since deciding to start the divorce process at the full moon of new year’s day. I spent that month starting the moving process, and ending my employment. As a Venus in Taurus, feeling happiest in the comforts of home, it’s been a long time of feeling in limbo. Even though I started to put out a few applications in the winter, I honestly was way more busy with moving, selling and buying home, and giving as much energy and stability to my kids as I could during a huge life shift, plus I initially needed to give myself a lot of more patience and self care that I’ve ever given to myself. So, I admittedly haven’t put my full self into a career search, nor have I had the full confidence that I ought too, feeling reluctant to accept any position that would mean a significant sacrifice for my kids. Yet, after ten months, I am more than ready to feel resettled on the career front, and have the sustainable income to actually serve as the Guardian of Earth, that I know I am at heart. Lastly, today I signed up for food stamps for the first time ever. I just barely qualify, but after penciling out my budget, it was hard to admit to myself that I have been “eating” away at my savings to feed my family. There is always a silver lining to be found with any seemingly “hard” card, and for today, I know that I felt a big relief to gratefully accept that I need assistance to truly rebuild my financial foundation.
Two of Air (Swords) has been a helpful energy, as I clear my mind every morning, so that I may listen to what I need most. I’ve definitely become way more intuitive and trusting of myself since becoming single for the first time this century. It feels gratifying to been in conversation with my own mind, rather than having to debate someone else.
Child of Fire (Page of Wands)inspires me to act on my intuition, and I love the spontaneous energy that I’ve welcomed into my life. I know that I’m still taking comparative baby steps, but appreciate the delight I get from listening to my heart.
Guardian of Air (Queen of Swords)is showing up again to remind me that I really am honing in on how to bring my calling to life, and to share my gifts.
14 Temperance, likewise, is a beautiful reminder of how much I desire to meld seemingly disparate aspects of myself. In terms of my career search, part of my challenge is that part of me so deeply desires to work on climate change again and another part is called to continue to deepen my service to moms and children, while another part would love to simply write and learn how to share all I love via videos.
Five of Water (Cups) Yet, there has still, almost inexplicably, been a part of myself that doubts my own creative capacity and what I have to offer others that will actually heal and transform the world in deep ways I know are needed now. Aside from the Five of Pentacles, questioning my ability to provide for my family, the Five of Cups is that only really “negative” card that has repeated itself in readings again and again over the past two years. Thankfully, I haven’t gotten it nearly as often this year, but when I was questioning my marriage, and hadn’t yet found a job in Astoria, and was isolating myself by getting high, this card was a theme to reflect to emotional fog I was in. Today, I’m happy to share that I haven’t smoked marijuana in months, and have drank less alcohol this year than any year in my adult life. Being sober has given me clarity in so many ways, but especially to witness when, how and why I sabotage myself. I can now better accept the challenges that need to be acknowledged here during Venus’ retrograde, I feel ready to admit how my own self doubt has affected my ability to move forward as gracefully as I know will soon do with ease.
3 The Empress reflects the grace and radiance that I most hope to exude. I believe that every woman (and men who embrace the feminine aspect of their nature) deserves to feel exalted and peaceful, not burdened with the stresses of resources that worry us when we forget that we are the creators and givers of life.
Six of Air (Swords) gives gratitude in community for all that we have and are, being mindful our interconnectedness. There is a flow of reciprocity, and a natural collaboration in working together.
Six of Fire (Wands), for the gazillionth time, is like a beacon affirming why this series is so essential to my own growth, so that I can take the stage of my life. Again, the affirmation brings a huge smile to my face: “I passionately celebrate myself and my tribe.”