Here, half way through my tarot reflections, I’m seeing more and more of the same themes.

Ten of Earth (Pentacles) reflects a culmination of your efforts, and creating a level of stability and abundance that you’ve worked hard for. It’s also about the bigger picture of your lasting legacy, not sure day to day survival.

Two of Fire (Wands) is such a luscious card. It reflects creative energy coming together to create more than just the sum of it’s parts.

Elder of Water (King of Cups), again, is a peaceful person, who understands their emotions and is able to go through life in a state of flow, self acceptance and love.

Ace of Water (Cups) is more unconditional love and being generous of heart.

Elder of Fire (King of Wands) is about energy and creative wisdom, tapping into your natural leadership potential.

0 The Seeker (The Fool), again, begins the journey of the Major Arcana. The 0 symbolizes the infinite potential that life offers us all, and the Fool steps onto their path with an open heart and mind. They have a knapsack, which has everything they need, and they are unencumbered by metaphorical baggage. This just reminded me of a tea fortune/quote that my Grandmother taped to her wall: “Travel light. Live light. Spread the Light. Be the Light.” I am in awe to see that this is actually a quote by Yogi Bhajan, and that his wisdom touched her life too.

Four of Air (Swords) is a reminder to rest and nest, and simply be. Not overthinking or overdoing.

Five of Fire (Wands), again, makes me feel the need to speak my truth. It makes me want to write and take action to create more peace, justice, and love in our lives and in the world.

Six of Water (Cups) is about being grateful for the relationships we’ve created, that support us, and bring us joy.

Seven of Air (Swords) is intriguing, because in this deck it’s a message of mapping out your life, and reevaluating what you need on your journey ahead.

Lastly, I will say that it’s an interesting process to share the meaning of the cards, especially when they keep coming up repeatedly. I realize that when I read for myself I tend to focus on the themes, shifts and new cards, rather than reflecting for any real length on any one card, since they tend to pop up day after day. It’s good to look at them from a new and deeper perspective.

Peace,

Darcy Rose

Elder of Water (King of Cups) feels like coming to a place emotional maturity, of accepting feelings instead of struggling against them. Of feeling love from within, instead of seeking it from external sources.

Elder of Air (King of Swords) similarly, this card is one of wisdom and trusting your intuition. With both cards, there is a contentedness, like all is well and all will be well.

Ten of Earth (Pentacles) is a continuation of this grounded sense of security and abundance.

Nine of Fire (Wands), once again, reflecting my daily inner journey through kundalini, meditation and tarot reading.

Child of Air (Page of Swords) is a card of intellect, yet seems to reflect the newly emerging world view that listening to your heart is actually smarter than listening to your head. I will always remember Takelma tribal elder, Grandma Aggie talking about how the longest and most important journey of our lives is the 18 inch distance between your head and your heart.

1 The Magician, again, is an alchemist, who has access to all the spiritual tools, and create whatever they want. It’s a beautiful card that feels both humble and confident, relaxed and energized, and simply ready to live.

20 Awakening (Judgment) originally comes from the biblical story of the Judgment Day, where the old earth is destroyed, and we are judged for our sins. I believe that with the New Earth, it’s a time/process of becoming aware of our own karma and how we are responsible for our own consciousness. It’s also about us, each, understanding what it means to create a true heaven on Earth.

8 Strength is about having strength and courageous in the most compassionate of ways. It’s a beautifully feminine card, reminding me of how important it is that feminine empowerment continue for our society to create true strength.

Explorer of Air (Knight of Swords) is ready to make ideas into reality. Indeed.

Explorer of Earth (Knight of Pentacles) is ready to manifest true abundance and sustainable resources. Yes, please.

Peace,

Darcy Rose

Yes, I’m still catching up, as I did yesterday’s and today’s tarot readings from a retreat with my sister in wine country. I love all the earth energy in this reading, and interestingly the same two “negative” cards of the Five of Cup and Nine of Air have shown up again, and I move through my own self doubt and breaking free of my personal patterns of looking to others to accept me. I’m going to give myself a real break and keep this altogether short…I tried with yesterdays’ but it was too tempting to write more…

Four of Earth (Pentacles) reflects my desire and skills to create security and abundance for my family.

Child of Fire (Wands) shows me again my eagerness to express myself creatively.

6 The Lovers is appropriate, given that I’ve several conversations with my sister, as she is understandably perplexed by my openness to love outside the cultural confines of what relationships “should” look/be like.

Four of Fire (Wands) reminds me, again, that even on vacation, I still want/need my spiritual practice.

Six of Air (Swords) is about moving toward the future with gratitude, and support from your community.

Five of Water (Cups), once again, reveals the fog of uncertainty that I’ve experienced when it comes to my career and life purpose. On the conscious level feeling very clear and inspired, but still have tremendous self doubt about my ability to be truly successful. Also, feeling the need to be vulnerable about my personal journey, but still fearing rejection.

Nine of Air (Swords) is absolutely the face of rejection and abandonment, and not a place I want to fear any longer.

Guardian of Earth (Queen of Pentacles) is my natural state of actively sowing what I need in my life, and having faith that my life will flourish.

Ace of Earth (Pentacles) shows me my deep desire to truly restart my life, and create my own utopia, creating heaven on Earth. It’s also about my desire to be a catalyst for societal change, shifting our values to encourage spiritual growth and peaceful emotional resiliency over material goods and busy lives.

Lastly, I haven’t felt called to pull an extra card in my previous spreads, but when the Five of Cups and Nine of Air came up AGAIN, I felt the need to ask, how I can I acknowledge and move past these feelings and truly shift my perspective. The answer was naturally the Nine of Fire (Wands).

Peace,

Darcy Rose

Since I was staying with my sister at an Airbnb in Oregon’s wine country before going yoga and wine event, I did this and the next reading out of my normal routine. Normally I do my readings after my kundalini yoga practice, so instead I did my reading after taking a shower and doing a prayer asking the the cards help “reveal me.”

Nine of Fire (Wands), again, has become such a beautiful card to symbolize my awakening process. I decided to google to card to see what other insights I could find from other decks, and the main thing that rings true is that I’m doing all I can/should be doing, and I just need to be steadfast in my practice to continue to feel progress.

6 The Lovers, once again, as a central theme. The truth is that no matter what kind of so-called “lifestyle” we choose, we have a choice every day to decide who we love. For years I chose to feel trapped in my marriage, despite both of our best efforts to make our relationship to work for our family. Now I am so very grateful to feel a level of freedom and unconditional love that I always hoped was possible. Yet, I now understand that the most important element to every relationship, whether it’s friends, family or lovers, is to have a self love and acceptance.

10 The Sun is perfect on such a glorious autumn day. The Sun is about feeling happy as your whole unique self.

Child of Air (Page of Swords) is ready to act on their insights and intuition. Ready to manifest dreams into reality.

1 The Magician is able to confidently creative magic, music…whatever their heart desires. They are inspired by what they have already created, and the momentum they are experiencing through their self expressions. It’s about already having everything you need to create everything you want in your life.

5 The Teacher (Hierophant) is the masculine counterpart to the High Priestess, and is a card that came up again and in readings with my tarot teacher, Connie Bender. It’s considered to be much more structured and religious, in comparison to the intuitive and spiritual ways of the High Priestess. Both are meant to lead, yet in different ways. This is card first started to come up with any regularity when I first started considering becoming an Imagination Yoga teacher. Not surprisingly, it’s come up several times recently, as I’ve been in the process of becoming certified and preparing myself to start teaching again. 🙂

Two of Air (Swords) is usually blindfolded in traditional tarot decks, which can mean we feel challenged by the choices in our life. In the Gaian deck, instead of focusing on the perceived obstacles, this card asks us to listen to our intuition and to trust ourselves. I first took my initial Imagination Yoga teacher training almost two years ago, and did the refresher course again last fall. Even though it felt like magic when I first learned to teach, I felt challenged by how I could actually begin to teach. Meanwhile, I was questioning my marriage. For the past 10 months, I’ve felt like I couldn’t pursue teaching, because I wanted to keep myself open for a full time job. Yet, by truly listening to myself, I know that teaching kids and parents is still my true calling.

Three of Earth (Pentacles) always reminds me of my Sisters, and the unique energy and wisdom we each offer. It reminds me that value I put into our relationships is worth that most anything in my life. In this moment, it makes me think of the way I love to end my prayers: “Aho, Amen, Sat Nam.”

Elder of Earth (King of Pentacles) is the stable leader that I very much want to be in my life. Leading through example, by having my own resources well managed. It’s about me being the masterful at manifesting, as I know I’ve been able to with my home (yet somehow have been challenged by self worth when it comes to my career).

Three of Air (Swords)…such an intriguing card. I’ve reading the Gaian cards for so long now that I had nearly forgotten that the element of is air is connected with the symbol of swords, and the traditional card with the stabbed heart, about grief and loss and heartbreak. It makes me want to dive deeper in writing about my wounds. Yet, tonight , catching up with my reflections on the eve of the full moon, it doesn’t feel like the right time. I do believe that it’s important that I really truly use this venus retrograde to purge all that I’ve gone through while Jupiter has been in Scorpio, since last October, when I started to witness the patterns, in a much clearer and more confident way, that were no longer working in my marriage. What I know for sure is that I’ve healed and empowered myself, and I’m happy to be revealing true self.

This reading feels so true to who I am. I’m glad to have given myself a little “retreat” from all this introspection, and I want to thank my sister, Jade, for inviting me to celebrate her birthday. It was just what we both needed. 🙂

Peace,

Darcy Rose

So, I’m actually a few days “behind” on sharing my tarot reflections. I had a rare/first getaway to celebrate my sister’s birthday, where we went out to Oregon’s beautiful wine country. I’m going to keep my reflections brief, partly because I see the same themes again and again, and partly because I simply want to catch up so that I can be in the present.

Explorer of Fire (Knight of Wands) Here she is again, reminding me to be bold enough to share my own unique creative energy (and your job is to share yours!)

2 The Priestess is about sharing my whole self, which can include being foolishly vulnerable and blissfully naive, in order to tap into my/our feminine wisdom.

Child of Water (Page of Cups) reminds me again to have fun and to connect with the love of my own inner child.

Six of Fire (Wands) is dancing victoriously, once again at the top my spread. Another validation that despite my desire to stay hidden and live my little life, that I’m meant to create a larger stage to engage my “tribe.”

3 The Empress is showing her feminine glory again, and again in my readings…thank Goddess for her abundant and humble glory.

Nine of Fire (Wands) has become my new favorite card, as I’ve felt several awakenings, and am happy to feel my kundalini rising in small and sometimes significant ways.

Nine of Air (Swords) shows my fears, and how I’ve inexplicably clung to my past self doubt, as I’ve look for my purpose in life, now that I am on my own.

Three of Air (Swords) reminds me that putting even hard feelings into words is a healing process.

Ace of Water (Cups) in the position of my deepest hope, is having an overflowing “cup” of love to fill ourselves and share with those lucky enough be in our lives, especially ourselves.

Five of Water (Cups) is showing up, again, to help me face my own self doubt, as I step into becoming my new self, Darcy Rose. Yes, there are already friends and family in my life, who I hold very dearly, who have a hard time understanding my desire to creatively express my whole self, both full of love and fear. Even though it’s not necessarily easy, I know that whoever stays in my life and whoever chooses to no longer engage with me, will be for the best. I no longer need to attach myself to those who choose not to love unconditionally.

Peace,

Darcy Rose

Four of Fire (Wands) is revealing herself again, and asking me to share more about my spiritual practices. Funny enough, I just started listening to Father Martin’s sermon, and of all things he’s talking about taboos. He opened the sermon sharing about a woman who asked pure strangers about what their favorite sexual position, and people answered enthusiastically. Then she asked how much money people have in their bank account, and people were appalled. If I may digress, I really do believe that the taboos of money, sex and spirituality are all things I want to write and talk about. I’ve already written about all my/our money stories: Round 1, Round 2, Round 3a, college money stories, before becoming a Cronin, after marriage before kids, after kids, and about questioning this cultural taboo. So, back to my spiritual practices…even though I have been to Grace Memorial Episcopal Church since just after Easter, I would like to share that my Easter experience was nothing short of revelatory. Having started to attend the church when Kieran was toddler and I was soon to be pregnant with Makenna, we decided to join wanting our kids to have a spiritual tradition, experience and community (as explained in a previous reflection, it was a middle ground between his Catholic upbringing and my more voluntary self-inspired Methodist route).  Now that I’m divorced, I feel like I am in a whole new territory of figuring out was works for me, as well as somehow trying to convey this to my children. I need to take more time to dig deeper, perhaps in a series of posts, like I dig with my money stories, because it’s a long and ongoing story…

Child of Fire (Wands) It’s also an exciting journey, and despite it getting darker and darker each morning, as I wake by 5 a.m., if I’m actually well rested, I naturally around 4, which is when it’s thought that spiritual awakening happens most readily, and is certainly something that I can attest to…I mean on a practical level, I try not to look at being a mom or head of household as mundane, but I don’t honestly have many epiphanies when I’m taking care of household stuff. Plus, there is something magical about lighting a candle in the dark, just like the feeling in this card.

Ace of Water (Cups), again and again, is such a feeling of new life and love. It’s one of my favorite feelings: overflowing love and gratitude. Being blissful for simply being.

Five of Water (Cups) Ironically, the fog from this morning is starting to burn off. It felt so unexpected, especially since I’ve barely experienced fog since moving from Astoria, where it could engulf my whole river view. As I shared before, I got this card a lot as I went through that personal time of fogginess. Today, I believe that she is coming up top with the Death card to help me through my private feelings of self-doubt and wanting to live a higher purpose beyond myself and my family. I just had another counseling session where I was able to voice how it’s felt to be so indecisive about my new life path. At my heart, I know that I’ve known all along that I can’t go back to living/working in a cube, but I’ve still been struggling to have the self worth and confidence that it takes to be a successful entrepreneur. I think one of my biggest obstacles though is my desire to connect deeper with other people and to feel of service. Without that higher purpose, it’s hard for me to feel truly myself.

Three of Air (Swords) is a place where I feel myself, like writing now. On one level, I do my best to write without any preconceived notions of what it will accomplish, yet I type so fast that it’s a really gratifying exercise and hard for me to finish writing practically anything without feeling a sense of accomplishment. I remember back when I was working as a Facilities Services Specialist for the Portland Water Bureau…I had been out of graduate school for a few years, and didn’t realize how much I missed writing. I carefully crafted a memo giving an update on a situation regarding a cell site lease on one of the towers. When I got done, I was inexplicably proud, as though it was some piece of poetry that moved me. For me, my desire to be a writer, and someday author, is really about the pleasure in the process, not the product. It’s the harmony I feel and connected with my sense of purpose.

12 The Tree (The Hanged Man) Interestingly, this major arcana card comes just before the Death card, and is all about letting go and surrendering. At this point, I know that I need to surrender to my buried feelings of fear and insecurity, of worrying that others don’t believe that I deserve my beautiful and amazing life, and may be jealous or hurtful when I finally accept myself enough to truly shine my/our inner light. Gaian affirmation: “I find serenity in surrendering to the great Mystery.”

Six of Air (Swords) Sixes, in connection with The Lovers, is all about union and community, and creating together. With air, the mind is active, and wanting to share ideas and connect with like minds.

Six of Earth (Pentacles), likewise, is about about exchanging resources and building up wealth and abundance, together. I truly believe that competition and survival of the fittest is where our patriarchal system has led us the most astray from our natural human instinct to act with generosity and reciprocity.

Seven of Water (Cups) is such a welcomed card in this reading, as I really am ready to take action on my dreams. For many months now I’ve applied for many jobs, and with each application, I’ve envisioned myself in that position and taking on that role successfully. I’ve only applied for jobs that felt in alignment with my life and goals, which has meant that I’ve been selective. Yet, that’s also meant that I’ve poured even more of myself and my hopes into each potential opportunity, which in some sense has meant for a lot of wasted energy. But I know that I needed to go through that long phase of indecisiveness in order to really understand why and how my dream is my dream. I appreciate this affirmation: “I open my hole heart to my dream.”

13 Death, beyond any creative outlet for this reflection series, is really my hope for this venus retrograde season. I’ve already let go of so much of my old life, since Jupiter when into Scorpio a year ago. That was when I knew on a spiritual level that the proverbial honeymoon was over. My process of separating and divorcing is a much longer story, and while physically we’ve been separated for 10 months now, I can see through counseling how much I’ve held onto his judgements and feared his reactions to me truly my own authentic life. I believe that we all attract the soul mates we need, not necessarily want. I don’t ever want to blame my ex or to make me out to be a saint, because I’ve surely been a mirror to his own issues, and hopefully helped us both see how we can be better people in new relationships. With that said, I feel that it’s past time to share my feelings… It’s taking a LOT of healing to deprogram myself from 18 years together, and believing that I wasn’t free to be myself, and that I was unworthy, and I couldn’t be successful earning money on my own, and that no one would value what I offer or worse that my “big mouth” would make the world want to ostracize me. Yet, I know that just because he didn’t truly see/understand/value me, beyond serving him (and I don’t want to claim that he didn’t try, he did, but true love and acceptance is something you do naturally), doesn’t mean that’s the truth.

What does feel true is that I am a very lucky person, especially as a woman, to live in a day and age when women are finally being listened to and acknowledged for the powerfully receptive and creative energy that we offer. I know that I have spiritual and practical gifts that I am just beginning to tap into, and that by shedding light on the cultural taboos of Piscean Age, that I can help us all shift into the Age of Aquarius, truly the dawning of a new culture. Life as as we know it is about the change, and I believe for the better: “Aquarius is visionary and creative, but rebellious, too. Aquarius’ job is to challenge authority, tear down existing structures, and replace the outdated with something better.” Yes, please.

Ok, plenty of reflecting for one day…Happy Friday!

Peace,

Darcy Rose

Once again, there are plenty of reoccurring themes in this reading, with every card except the Eight of Air having repeated at least once in the past two weeks.

Child of Earth (Page of Pentacles) is creating a foundation for abundance, and being responsible for resources. As someone who wrote avidly for my Sustainable Family Finances for years, I truly believe that our money matters because it enables us to demonstrate what we value and care about. For a while now I’ve wanted to start to share my life story through such a creative outlet, and for now I’ll give a shout out for my 50th Kiva loan. 🙂

Explorer of Air (Knight of Swords) The element of air is all about your mind, and this card is really about exploring options and sharing them with thoughtful confidence. It’s about listening to your own insight before anyone else.

Explorer of Fire (Knight of Wands) Likewise, this “explorer” is all about expressing creative energy. In this subconscious position in the layout, it’s my not-so-hidden desire. I feel so ready to really manifest my creative energy again… Again, the inspiring affirmation: “I dare to be transformed by the flames of passion and creativity.”

Two of Water (Cups), again, is such a beautiful card of sharing unconditional love and being present with our emotions and each other. My white puppy dog may be much smaller, but she still is very affectionate. 🙂

Ace of Fire (Wands), again, is card of new beginnings and a creative rebirth. Definitely an energy that resonates with me lately.

3 The Gardener (The Empress), again and again, is a card with such feminine qualities that I aspire to embody and share. She is radiantly peaceful, and completely generous. Affirmation: “I give thanks for the abundance and prosperity in my life.”

16 The Moon is so incredibly beautiful, as she changes night after night. With the uncharacteristically clear fall skies, I’ve been taking note of her waxing every evening lately, and am so deeply looking forward to the full moon in Libra.

Eight of Air (Swords) is a card of taking action on your insights and vision. I love how this card depicts it in a community sense, and I find it fun to work at that level, but we can also get “buy in” from ourselves to take action and make a stand for what we believe it, which in all likelihood will help further connect us to likeminded people who want to make the world a better place. Amen, Sister & Brother.

Guardian of Fire (Queen of Wands), again and again, more fire energy. I so appreciate this cosmic validation, as though I’m being told, yes, share your cards…show them all, if that’s what inspires. 🙂 Affirmation: “I spark creativity in others, while tending my own creative flame.”

11 Justice, as I’ve now drawn for the fourth time, is about experiencing karmic rewards. It’s also about being fair and creating a equitable partnership. At times, like during my divorce, I interrupted this card at a more personal level. Yet, lately, it’s really felt like a call to work for social justice. Regardless of why, this affirmation is always fitting: “I to be just and fair in my dealings with others.”

Peace,

Darcy Rose

Four of Air (Swords) is a good time for a retreat and rest, and to nest. To think about what you really need. It calls for prayer and meditation, and some gratitude never hurts. Feel free to just be.

17 The Star is a beautiful card of feeling healed, after a long time of feeling held back. It’s about being the star, and the center of attention, and recognized for your talents and gifts. It’s time to be generous and create in flow, trust in the abundance of the Universe.

10 The Wheel of Fortune, again, feels very true now, as the seasons change once more. Change is the only constant in life. For the Seeker, it’s about witnessing these changes with a heightened sense of awareness. The shadow side of The Wheel is when you want to cling to the past, and aren’t ready to appreciate inevitable changes.

Ace of Water (Cups) is when love feels new and exciting, and your “love cup” feels full. I love the affirmation: “I seek my heart’s desire.”

Seven of Fire (Wands) is ready to get to creative work. No more inspiration is needed, other than seeing your manifestations coming to life and wanting to forge ahead until they are complete. Again, I love the Gaian affirmation: “I have the courage and strength to transform my life.”

Four of Fire (Wands), for the umpteenth time, is reminding me that my spiritual and creative work is important. Practicing kundalini before the dawn does make me a better mother and helps me tap into my divine spirit.

Two of Fire (Wands), again, is about creating a relationship with your creativity, and not such keeping it to yourself. Yes, there is sacredness in being alone, but our spirits are here to become one again. I first learned about the idea of having a twin flame when I was contemplating names for our YippieChicks website. I was immediately fascinated, but concerned. I had been studying the Course in Miracles, and already felt that my relationship with my ex was what is called a “special relationship” where we are attracted to the other person to help fill the spiritual holes we have from childhood/society, but in the process of fulfilling the other, we loose connection with our own spirit. In direct contrast, we enter into a “holy relationship” from a place where each person comes from a place of spiritual wholeness, and unconditional love for themselves, so that they may truly love the “other.”

14 Temperance I’ve now shared about the Temperance card several times, as it’s been another ongoing theme in my personal readings. Iris represents the goddess of the rainbow, and the amazing beauty that comes from mixing the sun with the rain. It’s about using whatever live brings you, rain or sun, and making your own unique colors. If we truly understand our own powers, we can become alchemists, and bring feelings of heaven to Earth.

15 Bindweed, here again, following my hopes of Temperance, as my biggest fear. I most fear rejection, second to my loss of freedom. I believe that judgement of others for their shadows is the greatest way that we all must shift our minds, in order to create our own self acceptance and freedom.

Elder of Fire (King of Wands) has an intense image of a woman who sees creatively beyond this world. When I first started reading tarot for myself in my early twenties, I was weirded out by the presence of God that I intuitively felt when learning and understanding the cards. I had grow up going to a Methodist church. My twin sister and I started to go regularly in first grade, after having loved vacation bible school (our parents gave us a dollar each for offering, and our mom only ever came when we sang or had a special role…she also carpooled for youth group)…yet, in 8th grade I studied and “believed” in evolution and felt that it would be hypocritical to continue to go to church when I no longer believed in the creation story. When I started to attend Grace Episcopal a decade ago, as my ex and I wanted to give our kids a religious experience that was a middle ground from his Catholic upbringing, I ask the Father if they ever taught that evolution wasn’t fact, he said no. I also asked if it was acceptable that I practice tarot and at the time got daily inspirational email on the Kabbalah, and he gave a gracious reply about accepting all of our curiosities about the mysteries of life. Now as I dive deeper into understanding evolutionary astrology, and feel my vibration raising through my kundalini practice, I know that I have many more intuitive gifts than I’ve ever given myself credit for.

Peace,

Darcy Rose

Five of Fire (Wands) feels appropriate given that I spent a good chunk of my day at the DMV and Social Security, submitting documentation of my legal name change to Darcy Rose. Despite the bureaucracy, it feels so good to be changing my name. For years I’ve feared speaking up, not wanting to hurt anyone or feel rejected. It feels like I’m finally able to speak the truth of who I am without tarnishing the “Cronin name.” Even though they choose to be estranged, I still care for my ex-in-laws, yet they have made it clear that they do not to accept my need to become authentically me.

11 Justice is so much of what I want to speak and take action on to create radical social change. I know that my words can help inspire and unite a revolution of love and freedom.

7 The Canoe (Chariot) symbolizes how very ready I am to really move forward with my new life. Affirmation: “By focusing on my goal, success is mine.”

Explorer of Air (Knight of Swords), again, is learning and growing and swiftly, but still eager understand more. He needs a higher vantage to be able to objectively look at how and where his mind is serving him, or not.

Nine of Air (Swords) in reverse. Interestingly, I like to keep my tarot cards upright. Yet, occasionally my puppy dog or a child mixes up my deck. For more positive cards, a reverse basically means the opposite, but for a negative card, it adds an depth of protracted stuckness to the experience. Like many cards in the Gaian deck, it’s pretty easy to understand the meaning, without having a traditional understanding of tarot. This is clearly is a waking nightmare of the mind, overthinking and over worrying. As soon as this card came up, I thought of my ex. Despite feeling like we’ve been as amicable as possible, there continues to be unnecessary friction and animosity. Despite trying my best to set straightforward boundaries and no longer accept disrespectful communication, I still can’t seem to escape the fact that he chooses to regurgitate the same arguments ad nauseam. Even though they are becoming less and less effective at pushing my emotional triggers, I simply wish we no longer needed to communicate about anything (and that he would do more than hike to heal his anger and bitterness, so that he could get laid and stop worrying about my life and overstepping boundaries again and again…), yet, as my fate would have it, we still have thirteen years of active coparenting. So, it’s no wonder that at times I overthink about what feels like a situation beyond my control.

18 The Moon is a clear reminder that I just need to intuitively work my way through each phase, and shine light on the darkness, rather than feed shadows and fears.

Elder of Water (King of Cups), again, this card reminds me to listen to my emotions, as I go with the flow. I believe that acceptance is the key to peace and unconditional love for yourself.

Ace of Earth (Pentacles), again, reflects how I am very much in a place of beginning my life again. I’m just starting to take root and unfurl myself.

19 The Sun is a radiant reflection on my greatest hopes, of feeling free to be me, and appreciated for light I offer.

2 The Priestess, again, feels like this deep truth of who I am, and the sacred wisdom I need to share.

Peace,

Darcy Rose