Venus Retrograde Tarot Reflection #10

After a good night sleep and a full kundalini yoga practice, I’m feeling much better and able to enjoy this beautiful fall sunshine. ūüôā This reading feels like mostly a repetition of previous days, yet there are always new elements that arise.

Explorer of Earth is about intuitively manifesting material sustainability. Earth or pentacles has to do with creating wealth and abundance. As I shared when this card came up early this week, I am still in the process of creating my new budget, based on my new mortgage and expenses.

Five of Fire, again, demands that I speak my truth, and share these readings despite knowing that some won’t approve of me expressing myself in this way.

Justice, again, is a deep calling of mine. One thing I’ve wanted to share is how much the whole inevitable confirmation of Kavanaugh really woke me up to my desire to create deep political reform. For the past two years I’ve tuned out of politics more than I ever thought possible, given how much it intrigues me and how much I care. Yet, I was honestly focused on my own transformation, and after marching in the rain, decided that I needed to focus on my own emancipation before I could work to create social justice for others. Now that I’m resettled, I’m very much wanting to find meaningful work where I feel like I can be a part of creating social justice.

Two of Fire, again, this card reminds me of the energy I am creating through the relationships that I’m in. It’s hot and makes my cheeks glow. ūüôā

Child of Fire, again, has a glow that comes from within. She is able to tap into her creative energy. Affirmation: “I jump at new opportunity.”

Guardian of Fire is keeping the creative fire burning strong, with steadfast focus. Like the difference between a camp and a bon fire, this one is meant to give warmth to the whole community, not just yourself. Like the affirmation: “I spark creativity in others while tending my own creative flame.”

15 Bindweed (The Devil) Before this card came up, I could sense it. I was feeling self-doubt around my desire to start reading tarot professionally. On one level, I know I would love it and would be providing a service that would help people on their life paths, yet I still fear the feast or famine.

Three of Air is one I relate well to, as someone who enjoys writing. Air is the element of the mind, and unless you write or tip tap your thoughts down, you may be missing your full potential. I still don’t know exactly where/how writing will fit into my new career, but I know that it’s a creative practice that I want to foster.

Four of Water is about replenishing your emotional reserves. This feels appropriate, given that I’ve been fighting back an allergy-related cold and when my body feels off, my emotions are the first to wonder what’s going on. I got a really good night’s sleep last night, but am honestly feeling like a nap now…

Temperance is such a beautiful card of combining different aspects of ourselves to create a unique harmony. As a twin and Gemini sun, with Libra rising, I am continually balancing my dual nature. If you look closely at the Gaian card, her third eye is glowing, as she intuitively senses how to beautifully blend her life.

Peace,

Darcy Rose

Venus Retrograde Tarot Reflection #9

As we continue to go through Venus’ retrograde, I am challenging myself to post a tarot reflection every day. I just finished mulching the new landscaping that I’ve transformed from a weedy grass patch. I woke up with a bit of a sore throat, so I am really enjoying this brief rest. I’m listening to video a venus in retrograde by one of the “dream team” from New Paradigm astrology, and I particularly appreciated Ari Moshe’s song at the end.

Elder of Water, again central in my reading for the second day, getting this card always makes me closer to my father. I feel a wise and peaceful love, that’s shared in the moment.

2 The Priestess¬†is such a perfect card for venus’ retrograde, allowing ourselves the space to create enough stillness in our lives to listen to our own wisdom.

Two of Earth is often represented with two coins, connected with the infinity symbol, showing that if we can balance our resources, we can reach our infinite potential.

Three of Fire in the Gaian deck just an empowering card, from the guide: “You are on fire with the joy of creativity, sexuality and self-empowerment. Nothing will hold you back from expressing yourself with great abandonment and rowdiness. This is no time to hide your light under a bushel. Be proud of who you are and what you’ve accomplished. It’s an exciting time for you! Who knows where your passion, creativity and magic will take you next?” Yes, please.

11 Justice Empowerment isn’t just for ourselves. I feel so incredibly called to work for social justice.

1 Magician As someone who enjoys diversity and activity, I’ve always felt connected to the Magician. I love the range of experiences that we can manifest for ourselves, so long as we take action, even baby steps, toward the personal and social change we envision.

Ace of Earth, in the position of self in the situation, is about planting seeds for the future, and caring for them today. It has such a grounded newness, hope and faith that whatever you take action on will be come to fruition.

Ten of Fire, interestingly in the same placement as a few days ago, reflects my/our need to let go of relationships/habits/things that no longer serve me. Like a forest, rebirth comes after the flames.

Nine of Fire is absolutely one of my favorite cards, as I’ve continued to experience awakening. It’s so serene and passionate at the same time. Affirmation: “I am a being of light and fire, as well as flesh and bone.”

Ten of Air is another card of letting go, and metaphorically flying home to ourselves. It’s a card of completion. Affirmation: “I heed the inevitably of change and discover the gifts found in letting go.”

Maybe it’s my allergies, but I’m feeling drained as I end this. I’m glad that I’ve set my own expectation so low that I’ve already exceeded them, and I can only hope that sharing this will help reveal to who I am and what I’m experiencing and learning. Letting go of wanting to prove anything to anyone, and simply being myself and going with the flow, feel like such an incredibly empowering place to be.

Peace,

Darcy Rose

Venus Retrograde Tarot Reflection #8

Child of Water is a beautiful way to start this reading, as it was the “outcome” card for yesterday. Reading the Gaian guide, it certainly feels spot on with all the new love energy in my life: “She may be experiencing love for the first time. She needs to embrace her emotions, dreams, and imagination, and let her heart be filled.

20 Awakening…I simply love this card. Funny, as I was just thinking yesterday that I hadn’t even started to share about my awakenings. I’ve experienced several awakenings before. Yet, since the winter/spring, I’ve been experienced a heightened awareness. During meditations as I’ve fallen asleep and woken up, I’ve felt my entire body energized at a molecular level. Initially feeling the vibrations in my heart and throughout my back, and then extending and enveloping my whole body. It’s surreal and peaceful, and certainly like I am in a heightened state of being.

2 Priestess, she again reminds me that I am called to share my gifts, especially through starting to do readings.

Temperance, as a Libra rising, I’ve always loved this card. Temperance is about creating harmony from the seemingly different aspects of ourselves. As an identical twin and a Gemini sun, I certainly know how to navigate duality.

Four of Fire, for the upteenth time already, is a beautiful affirmation of my daily spiritual practices.

The Moon, I so appreciate the tagline in the Gaian guide for The Moon: Constant, Faithful Changes. It’s so important for us to move with the flow of life, and learn to reconnect with the lunar cycles.

Five of Air has come up often when I’m in some form of debate (i.e. divorce). But as soon as I saw this card come in this position, I felt that it has much more to do with my internal debate between feeling pure confidence and questioning myself. At least I feel like I’ve gotten much better at observing such internal debates without getting completely caught up.

10 The Wheel is another beautiful reminder to embrace change, and not fight against what only feels natural.

Explorer of Earth is about becoming truly resourceful. It’s about creating sustainable routines, which is ideal for this new phase of my life.

Seven of Fire has such an industrious feel, feeling ready to take action. Here’s what the lovely Gaian guide shares: “It’s time for you to take a risk for personal growth and stand up for your authentic self. Dare to forge ahead! You are learning to trust your own strength, and sense of personal power.” And the affirmation: “I have the courage and strength to transform my life.” Indeed, indeed.

Peace,

Darcy Rose

Venus Retrograde Tarot Reflection #7

Wow, again. I swear that I really do shuffle the deck, mostly with my eyes closed. Sometimes I just breath and clear my mind, other times I ask for the cards to reveal my highest truth, so that I may create my deepest desires.

Four of Fire This is such a validation of my spiritual practice. While I’ve been journaling, just a single page, about my tarot readings for a while now, it’s felt so much more powerful to reflect more and share, and not keep all this creative energy to myself.

Getting the Six of Fire once again inspires me to share my whole self and passions. In sharing with my counselor about the shift I’ve felt with just a week of sharing my tarot reflections, I realized that it’s as though I’ve come out of the closet both as an intentionally open lover and as a tarot reader.

Seven of Water is perfect here, as I continue to try to listen to my heart in determining how to head my calling to share my spiritual truths. Here’s what the Gaian tarot guide says, “It’s time for you to narrow down your options, and choose one dream or fantasy out of many. Saying no is as empowering as saying yes. What will open up for you as a result of this decision? Follow your intuition and lift that cup. Drink deeply, and let your well be filled.”

Elder of Water is about having enough social and emotional maturity to be able to practice self love and self care to the point that you have a genuine capacity to serve people in your life. The traditional Kind of Cups quickly became the card that most resonated with my father, Wally. He bought his first deck when I was taking my tarot reading class from Connie Bender, and it quickly became a way for us to bond at a deeper level than ever before. It was interesting because even though I was still a relative beginner, I was in the position of teaching him.

Explorer of Air, again, is about actively gaining a higher perspective to tap into your true self, even when that puts you out on a limb, because it will force to grow, which may ripple to social change. I like the quote for this card, “Rarely satisfied with the status quo, this card reveals someone who may be a bit of a rebel and iconoclast, but who loves to teach and share their knowledge.”

Child of Earth, just like yesterday’s spread, the child of earth/pentacles is about building your financial foundation. Now that I’ve been blessed enough to manifest buying my house, I know that I need to figure out how create sustainable cash flow as soon as possible. I’ve come to see that despite being overly confident in searching/buying my new home, I’ve struggled with self worth, as I’ve not landed a dream job that fits with me family life nor have I been able to confidently how to share my gifts.

Guardian of Fire is still standing strong, reminding me that only I can stoke my creative energy and share my passion. This is how I want to feel/be: “The Guardian of Fire is someone who quietly owns his own worth. He doesn’t have to be the center of attention in order to feel good about himself, although he is sometimes quite naturally in the spotlight. This someone who attracts others because of a warm heart and natural radiance. Remember that when the flame of creativity is shared, all benefit, and no single fire is diminished. Passions shared and combined can create a bonfire big enough to light the entire sky.” Serendipitously, the graphic frame above my desk, in my entryway, has a similar quote, “Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases from being shared.” ~Buddha

The Moon, again, as I continue to feel the new moon energy. I have shifted my life so radically and intentionally since I first started doing new and full moon rituals and reflections, and studying evolutionary astrology. I feel grateful for this consciousness in my life. As I shared in my previous post, with the moon shifting every 2 1/2 days, it gives new meaning to the philosophy that “this too shall pass.” It gives me both an urgency and a patience that helps me be faithful to the seeds of intentions that I plant with each new moon.

Ace of Air,¬†again, brings such a burst of clarity. I’m feeling this very much around the idea of finally offering tarot readings. I really loved doing life coaching, and always toyed with the idea of incorporating tarot readings. I really believe that it would be a useful tool to get to the heart of what you’re dealing with and insight how to live your bliss.

Child of Water, again, is for me about listening to my delighted inner child. It’s about loving yourself unconditionally. I simply loooove the Gaian affirmation: “I imagine a life filled with love, art and spirituality.” For me art also includes beauty, which is abundant in nature, especially rivers and the ocean. Now that I’m no longer living at the mouth of the mighty Columbia, close to the beach, I need to prioritize taking trips to the water.

Peace,

Darcy Rose

Venus Retrograde Tarot Reflection #6

Wow, this is crazy. The two central cards are the same as on my second reading. Plus the Gardener and Three of Earth in the same place as two other spreads. Maybe it’s only fascinating to me, but I truly love feeling amazed the themes that show up again and again. All this fire certainly has me feeling inspired and creative.

Explorer of Fire¬†Gaian affirmation: “I dare to be transformed by the flames of passion and creativity.” Moving on from the “child,” the Explorer cards take our skills and talents and intuitions and put them into action. I love how confident and graceful she is dancing with fire.

Six of Fire Gaian affirmation¬†“I passionately celebrate myself and my tribe.” This card feels like me stepping into my own light, and no longer playing safe in the shadows.

Four of Earth is about building a financial foundation, like storing your nuts. As I shared before, I’m still in the process of creating a new sustainable income/budget, and even though it’s on the subconscious, it’s still there.

The Canoe (The Chariot) I’m such a high energy person that I love feeling the Chariot’s energy, and given that I love boating of all kinds, this Canoe card is a beauty.

3 The Gardener As I shared before, this card is one of abundance and beauty, and all things feminine. I appreciate her fertility, and how peaceful she looks sitting in her garden of glory.

Three of Earth¬†All the major arcana cards, like The Gardener, relate to the “suit cards” with the same number, so this card has a similar energy, and stage of the journey. I love the gratitude and peace that are imbued.

Two of Earth is a card that I get¬†really¬†often, and it always feels like such an important reminder of how I need to stay strong and balanced, and rooted amidst life’s turbulent activity. While I don’t have twins, with three young kids, I’m constantly juggling.

Ace of Fire, again, such a beautiful card of creative rebirth. Aces are perfect for this new moon energy.

Guardian of Air is a card that first came up a ton when I started working for Northwest Parenting and Clatsop County, the spring before last. It always feels like the card that explains my calling to lead by example, knowing that my walking my talk and talking my walk, that I can help shift our culture to support moms and nurture kids. Gaian affirmation “I declare my truth with candor and clarity.

Child of Water, like the otters in the Three of Earth, always reminds me of my youthful love of water. I love having such an innocent view on love and emotions. I feel as though, for the most part, I am able to live and love without hesitation or conditions (and I’m definitely much more of aware of where/how I used to try to control, instead of simply allow and accept), knowing that being present and giving will always leave me feeling joyful. ūüôā

Peace,

Darcy Rose

Venus Retrograde Tarot Reflection #5

A good friend of mine thinks that reading with the Gaian deck can be challenging because people can take the vivid imagery too literally. While I agree on some levels, I feel magnetically draw into the beauty and diversity of the cards, and I’ve haven’t been able to “go back” to my other traditional decks since I got this one two years ago…coincidentally with a big wave of awakenings. If it inspires me to have a daily tarot practice, that helps me feel spiritually connected, that’s all that really matters.

Explorer of Air climbs up to gain a higher view of the situation, knowing that you can’t solve anything at face/ground level. As I continue to awaken, I see how intricately everything that happens on the material plane reflects my spiritual alignment.

Guardian of Fire, again, is a protector of creative energy and life force, not letting others diminish our spark. I love the quote, “Don’t let someone dim your light, simply because it’s shining in their eyes.” Obviously, we need to respect each other, but when it comes to creative energy, we can’t expect that everyone is going to be lit up the same way.

Guardian of Earth, more King energy, about becoming sovereign. This is card about creating and sustaining abundance, and having faith in all the seeds we’ve planted.

Explorer of Water, I’m never surfed, but would love to learn. I absolutely love doing everything I can do go with the flow. Water is all about love and emotions, and that’s certainly what I love exploring most.

Four of Fire, this is the third time this card has come up this week, each day progressing through the layout, like it’s telling me that I’m on my spiritual path. Again, the Four of Fire is about creating a foundation for your spiritual rituals and practices. There’s no better time than at the new moon.

2 The Priestess She is no doubt a wise woman. I love the way this card shows both maiden and crone. I felt often like an old woman as a child, and now as a middle aged woman, I love how youthful I feel. Yet, the Priestess shares her wisdom on a much deeper level, with a mysterious connection that spans between her womb and moon. I got this card often as I was trying to decide whether to leave my marriage.

Seven of Air¬†Sevens are all about planning for and taking action the future. This is exactly what I’m working to do, especially here at the new moon in Libra.

8 Strength¬†I’ve always loved how feminine the Strength card is, and here in Venus retrograde, it reminds me of how inevitable the shift toward feminine empowerment, and the collapse of the patriarchy. (Please note that I view patriarchy not simply as masculine energy, but as masculine energy that dominates over the feminine). Here’s a beautiful quote about the Libra new moon: “On this Libra New Moon, may we step into fearless compassion and limitless strength‚ÄĒnever weakening ourselves for others. May we feel our confidence as we upend oppressive powers, returning to love, again and again.

Five of Earth Once again the five of earth shows up as my greatest fear. While I am truly proud and relieved to have managed to purchase my new home, it took waaaay more of my reserves than I anticipated. I know that I need to create a new sustainable budget, and I have been avoiding face my finances. Yet, I know that only by facing my fears will I be able to create true freedom for myself.

Six of Fire¬†Admittedly, I found this quote and felt inspired to paste it, but somehow can’t find where to attribute it to now. So, thank you the anonymous writer”¬† “It’s time to come to terms with all you’ve kept in the shadows,¬†so you can live in accordance with your values and live the life you love. You can only do this when you are being true to yourself.” The truth is that for the most part I’ve kept my rising consciousness and expanding heart chakra mostly to myself and feel lucky people. I’ve spent most of my life happily in the shadows of people I love, but I know my heart¬† longs to dance and celebrate spirit.

Peace and love,

Darcy Rose

Venus Retrograde Tarot Reflection #4

Another day, another beautiful reading. It’s interesting to note that Fire, creative spiritual energy, has been at the center of every reading so far. As much as any single reading, I love having a daily practice to see/feel the patterns that replay and shift in my life.

The Ace of Fire in the Gaian deck feels like the ultimate symbol of creative rebirth. Like the two aces from my first reading, I’m welcoming this energy into my life. Now that I’m settled into my new home, I feel very ready to write my next chapter.

Four of Fire¬†shifted from the central position yesterday to the supporting position today. Fours are all about building your foundation. While I have a steady practice, I still feeling like I’m still tweaking it daily to see what more inspires and enlivens me.

Two of Water shows such a joyful unconditional love. Water is all about emotion and love, and twos about merging and feeling empowered and strengthened by doubling your growth. For me, being with a lover or friend always feels like an opportunity to grow emotionally and expand my capacity to love.

Seven of Earth is all about sowing seeds of abundance in our lives, and in this position, it’s particularly about doing it with conscious intention. It’s also about having patience to watch what you plant grow.¬†For a while now I’ve enjoyed visualizing myself planting a seed when I call or email someone, or even just do a google search, then the next action is like watering that seed, and then watching it grow…

0 The Seeker was found in the supporting position yesterday and now finds herself reflecting the past. I like to look at the position of the past as a important aspect to learn from before going forward. The Seeker or Fool is all about the Hero’s Journey, a journey of self-discovery and living a fully realized life, or as Campbell says, “Following your bliss.”

Three of Earth¬†“happens” to land in the same exact position as my first reading, and perfect given that over the weekend I had some deep and lovely conversations with three close girlfriends. Looking forward to more of this in the future, as I value my Sister relationship as least as much as with my Lovers/Brothers.

Four of Air is a card that I first started to get when I began planning to leave my marriage, and very much feels like building a new nest from an intellectual place, about nurturing ideas. For my “new” family, it’s about creating new routines that keep us all happy and healthy, able to put our energy toward learning and doing what matters most to us.

Ten of Fire is in the place of “environment” or people in your life, and how they view you or the situation. As soon as I saw this I saw a family member who doesn’t understand/agree with my need to share that intentionally want to live with an open heart and create open relationships. Tens are about the final transformation, and despite not wanting to feel the fire of disappointment or rejection, I feel at peace knowing that this too is part of the process of true self acceptance.

15 Bindweed (The Devil) is rightfully in the position of fears. I’ve felt trapped essence of this card before, but today seeing it as a fear, as an illusion of my mind, it feels very different. In the Gaian deck the subtitle is “Life out of Balance.” Despite loving it on many levels, I’m almost at my personal limit for how many lovers I want in my life. Yet, when a good friend started to flirt with me, I reciprocated and invited him over for the evening. Despite us enjoying our time together, in the morning I very much felt that we need to stay friends. Even though it was hard to express that to him, he understood and was equally gracious. He had his own reservations about whether I could meet his desire to have more of an every day life partner. By reflecting on this reading, and speaking my truth, I feel like I was able to avoid truly feeling the pain that this card can represent, it we avoid listening to our hearts.

21 Gaia, The World Awe. Such a lovely card and beautiful way to end the reading. I do feel like I do everything I can to embrace and create my world and live each day to the fullest. I love the Gaian affirmation “All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.” Indeed.

Sending you peace, love and light during this Venus retrograde.

XXooxxoo

Darcy Rose

PS To understand more about Venus in retrograde, check out this video from one of my favorite astrologers:

Venus Retrograde Tarot Reflection #3

A close friend asked me to share more about “why share during Venus in retrograde?” instead of other planets. Venus is the feminine planet and represents beauty and love. She’s most at home in Taurus (where she is conjunct to Mars in my birth chart), where she can live beautifully. In Scorpio, it’s about going to the “underworld” and diving deep to learn from ourselves how to bring our inner beauty to the surface.

I will also say I’ve read traditional tarot nearly two decades (my favorite other deck in the Mythic Tarot).

Four of Fire is about creating a spiritual practice that connects you to the divine. My daily practice has deepened over time, and for a long time I did a twenty minute Deepak series (I just checked and a new meditation experience for youthful living begins 10/29!). Since moving into my own home, where I have just barely enough space for my yoga mat in my bedroom, I wake up almost every morning to practice an hour and a half of kundalini yoga/meditation online with Ra Ma TV, which I first found through discovering Guru Jagat on Gaia.com. I just found that Guru Jagat has a new Kundalini 101 class. Kundalini is not at all like “normal” yoga, and everyone is going to experience it differently, but for me, I felt a radical shift in just a week of practicing 30 minutes a day.

The Seeker, usually The Fool, is where the journey begins. It’s about living every day and moment with a beginner’s mind, being open minded and open hearted, being ready to intuitively explore what comes before our path.

The Wheel feels very true now, as the seasons change once more. Change is the only constant in life. For the Seeker, it’s about witnessing these changes with a heightened sense of awareness. The shadow side of The Wheel is when you want to cling to the past, and aren’t ready to appreciate inevitable changes.

Two of Air, in the consciousness position, is more on the theme of intuitively sensing, and being quiet enough to listen to what you most need.

The Moon is a another feminine empowerment card, yet instead of the stability and grounding of the The Empress, it’s about creating flow. This feels ideal with the new moon in Libra on Monday. I have been setting intentions with each new moon and practicing gratitude and celebration at the full moon, but I want to do more to live in balance with the moon cycles every 2 1/2 days. I was blown away to learn that women have 11 moon centers of energy in there are ways to activate them, including through sexual intimacy. As delightful as that sounds, the suggestion that most appeals to me is making sure to take more walks in the moon light.

Eight of Air reminds me of my desire to work with others to make the world a better place. As much as I enjoy leading my own life, I know that I get such a boost of energy from working with people. I know that I am a natural leader, in a feminine way, where I want to facilitate rather than dictate.

Likewise, the Six of Air¬†reminds of how much I enjoy feel connected to community. I feel like I’m still just barely resettled, and I look forward to creating my new community. This card is also want of deep gratitude, which I absolutely feel.

The Sun is radiant. Even though I can’t claim that I live in this state all the time, I absolutely love feeling energetically radiant and grateful. I love sharing my light with anyone ready to embrace joyful vibes.

Two of Fire, damn this is a sexy card. It’s about tapping into our creative potential with both hands. The Gaian affirmation is “I am empowered by my passion for life, love and wildness.”

The Empress has shifted since my spread yesterday, which I described already. Given the fact that my kids are away visiting their Dad, it reminds me that I love to give, give, give to them, but I need my space and solitude to reflect and regain my feminine power.

Wishing you a beautiful that reflects your own divine nature.

Peace,

Darcy Rose

Venus Retrograde Reflection #2

It’s incredible to see the Six of Fire in the same exact central position (the odds of which are very very small), supporting where I am, as the Explorer of Fire. On my drive home from a dear girlfriend’s home, I listened to Ben Harper’s Dance Like Fire, which is such a beautiful expression of this card.

Below is the Five of Earth, which comes up for me often, reflecting my struggle with believing that I’ll be able to create an abundant lifestyle doing work I love. Thankfully, I’ve recently gotten a few interviews and one part time opportunity, which feels like a real shift compared to self-doubt I’ve experienced as I’ve tried to transform my career. This card is still very hopeful, showing that even in a storm, I am still surviving and I have the skills to thrive.

The Guardian of Fire in this position of the consciousness makes me think of how I am the only one who can stoke my own creative fire. I can’t ask or expect anyone else to do it for me. This would normally be called the King, and this represents empowering oneness and having sovereignty, which is absolutely the path I’m on (while simultaneously celebrating my interconnected oneness).

Awe.¬†The Lovers, once again. I’ve got about fifteen minutes before one comes to visit, so I had better make this quick. ūüėČ But all kidding aside, I got a pretty predictable response, lacking of understanding and feeling somehow fearful for me, from my family about me sharing my desire to live with an open heart. It’s not really something that I can justify or explain, but a truth that I feel. I’ve processed so much in the past two years about how or why, and it just comes down to feeling that this is who I am.

Six of Water, like the Three of Earth from yesterday’s spread, this feels like an exulted vision of celebrating sisterhood. In the past day, I’ve have three amazing conversations/visits with three amazing girlfriends. I find such joy from the ways that we can authentically sharing our lives. Being authentic and vulnerable with each other, and serving as a mirror for our inner beauty, is such a amazing way to relate. Namaste, my Sisters.

Child of Earth feels so perfect, as I am creating my new budget with my new mortgage and starting fresh on creating a home for my children.

Child of Fire, as in the spread yesterday, I know that once I tap into my true voice and feminine power that I will be able to truly inspire and transform, myself if no one else.

The Empress, or in the Gaia deck, The Gardener,¬†was my first favorite card that I got in my first coffee shop reading in college. Often empress cards have her foot resting on a crescent moon, and that night was a crescent moon, and I felt like I was seeing it for the time.¬†She’s obviously so feminine and so powerful.

Five of Fire¬†has come up again again for me, as I debate with myself how to speak my truth, and really become myself. The affirmation in the Gaian Tarot guide is “I courageously face my fears.” In my astrology chart Saturn is in Leo in the 11th house, and whether Saturn is where you have your greatest fear, with Leo in the 11th, it means that I’m fearful of sharing myself and stepping onto stage as a community leader. Even though I have public speaking experience, I am always fearful. I know that it’s my “job” in this lifetime to overcome my fear, but I feel viscerally like I want to heave at the thought of being truly famous, and even though I don’t expect more than a hundred people to ever read this post, I tell myself the mantra of “courage in action” every time I push publish on a post.

Peace,

Darcy Rose

Venus Retrograde 2018: Tarot Reflection #1

Gaia tarot spread on eve of Venus retrograde 10/4/2018

Today Venus goes into retrograde for the next forty days, currently in Libra and about to go back into Scorpio. Whenever any planet goes into retrograde, it’s a time for inner reflection.

I still consider myself a novice when it comes to explaining evolutionary astrology, yet when it comes to feeling the energy of the planets, I often feel very much in alignment. It’s felt uncanny how much my whole transformation process has mirrored the planets.

Since moving into my new home this summer, I’ve used my almost daily tarot practice to make sense of the Mars in retrograde. On most days I’ve done a page of journaling along with the reading (after my 1 1/2 kundalini yoga practice…and yes I do get up at 5 to have my “me” time before my kids wake up). Honestly, my readings in September, after having had some real breakthroughs in August, have felt really incredible. I’ve been feeling really called to share them publicly (even though another voice always wants me to keep them private, but I know it’s just my ego and I have nothing to fear and anyone who is offended by what I have to say just isn’t yet willing to look at their own shadow).

Before/after turning 40, I had really wanted to challenge myself to writing every day for forty days, but the truth was that I knew my marriage was about to end, and I was trying to figure out how to do so with the least collateral damage, so as much as I wanted to speak my truth, I didn’t have the heart to break up in that way (I was public enough as it was, and got major push back from some family/friends for it).

Now, I feel as though the Death card is really the key for me. It feels like I need to simply write and share my story, however that ends up coming out, to be able to rebirth myself.

So, even as I begin this whole reflection process, I don’t know exactly how to share both what’s shown in the cards and what it brings up in relation to my life, but I’ll take it one day at a time and do my best. Don’t expect a full explanation of each of the cards, and I simply want to share in the context of what feels true for me in the context of my life/story.

On the above tarot spread, I felt a deep peace seeing the Ace of Air and the Ace of Earth. I love new beginnings, and get such a burst of creative energy. I’m also a Gemini, air sign, and with all the transformation, this “year of the¬†butterfly meditation” has been one of my very favorites.

Listening to it again now, I am struck by how powerful this reading feels. The center card, Six of Fire, has a special meaning. On the awful night that I told my ex about my affair, he tossed my tarot cards and books on the front porch, in an attempt to kick me out. Two cards flew all the way into the hydrangea, the Six of Fire and The Hermit, as soon as I found them, I knew they were the perfect reflection of myself and him. He would have been happy to stay a hermit of sorts (with me mothering/serving him), but he couldn’t stand the idea of me dancing in my own light. That’s really what it came down to…plus me wanting an open relationship.

At the base, where the subconscious lies, is The Lovers. When I first started reading tarot in college, I only ever thought of having one lover (even though I briefly dated a few guys at the same time, which felt exhilarating!). Now, two years after first and feeling divinely inspired to stop closing my heart and mind, I adore the connections that I feel with all of my lovers. I’ve wondered how/when to “come out” and say that for a long time, wondering if I would regret sharing my new passion publicly. While I do still want to keep my kindred connections sacred and private, it feels right to share that I am in love and love living with an open heart. I cherish the contrast I experience, but most of all I love feeling authentically myself, like I no longer need to hide who I am at heart. It’s all still so new that I don’t know what each day or week will bring, and best of all, I no longer feel attached to controlling and putting conditions on my relationships. It truly has made me feel free and in awe at how magical life and love can be…certainly a topic to be continued…

Three of Water, in the placement of consciousness,¬†always reminds me of my happy childhood, especially summers. I was truly like an otter child, loving playing in the river. Just thinking of water lifts my spirits, and water simply bring me into a state of bliss, even just a shower or bath (perfect for today, as I went to the Carson Hot springs with a dear friend, and my broker who wanted to celebrate my new home…she definitely knows me!!).

Eight of Fire, in the near past, makes me think of the flashes of insight and awakening that I so love to experience, but find challenging to share with others and to truly take action of every great idea that I fall in love with.

With the Three of Earth, reflecting the near future, I always feel grateful for my Sister relationships, and recognize how much I need/love having deeply connected female friendship. My Soul Sisters know who they are, but I still love feeling open to be becoming lifelong Sisters with someone I’ve just met, either way, I know we are in each others’ lives for divine reasons. My sisters give me guidance and help me reflect my values, and by admiring them, I always get a boost of confidence to be in the presence (or virtually) with women I admire. This card feels perfect.

Again, the Ace of Earth in “my” place in the spread (which is called a Celtic cross) feels perfect as well, as I have just finished purchasing my home this week and am still finishing off some settling in projects, and planting perennials, before planning my housewarming. While I’ve been renting my home since May, it feels altogether different to know that I own it (and am technically committed to buying it for the next thirty years…even though I plan to pay it off much faster…). I love the freshness of living in a home that settled enough to not feel chaotic, but new enough to still want to play with things enough to try out different ways until it feels like it suits me and family.

Child of Fire, I get this card often (along with the Child of Water), and it represents new creative energy and feeling inspired, which is absolutely my natural norm, when I’m fully in alignment with my calling and consciously caring for my needs and desires.

Death is a card that I’ve come to love this year. I’ve known on a deep level that death and letting go of who I was is necessary to becoming who I know I am inside. I also just love this image and how peaceful it feels, as though simply accepting death can bring peace.

The Hermit in this deck feels very literal, and always reminds me of how much I crave leaving the busy world, and writing, especially in nature. I know that I learn through my writing and regardless of however my words may impact anyone, they undoubtedly inspire and transform me. I know that with my desire to be social and needing to care for my kids that it takes a lot of discipline to carve out time.

OK, wow, well after having started this reflection in the midmorning, it’s now at 1:40, and I’m hoping that I don’t catch any errors when I reread in the morning. I am also sending out positive vibes that only who is meant to read this will (I thought today, after writing the Lovers piece that I wish there was an easy way to filter from my kids…I’ve known for a while that I need to be brave enough to talk with them about my life choices, and I even just got a new book at the library about how and when to talk with kids about sex. I’m sure that I’m simply part of new wave of souls who choose to experience relationships in diverse ways, and by the time they are my age it will be as casually normal as having tow moms or dads, but that doesn’t make it any easier to explain now…).

If you are a rare online reader who actually makes it to the final lines, I give you my sincere appreciation. I know there’s a gazillion ways you could entertain/enlighten/distract yourself, and I am grateful that you chose to spend this moment reading my story.

Peace, Love & Light,

Darcy Rose