It’s incredible to see the Six of Fire in the same exact central position (the odds of which are very very small), supporting where I am, as the Explorer of Fire. On my drive home from a dear girlfriend’s home, I listened to Ben Harper’s Dance Like Fire, which is such a beautiful expression of this card.
Below is the Five of Earth, which comes up for me often, reflecting my struggle with believing that I’ll be able to create an abundant lifestyle doing work I love. Thankfully, I’ve recently gotten a few interviews and one part time opportunity, which feels like a real shift compared to self-doubt I’ve experienced as I’ve tried to transform my career. This card is still very hopeful, showing that even in a storm, I am still surviving and I have the skills to thrive.
The Guardian of Fire in this position of the consciousness makes me think of how I am the only one who can stoke my own creative fire. I can’t ask or expect anyone else to do it for me. This would normally be called the King, and this represents empowering oneness and having sovereignty, which is absolutely the path I’m on (while simultaneously celebrating my interconnected oneness).
Awe. The Lovers, once again. I’ve got about fifteen minutes before one comes to visit, so I had better make this quick. 😉 But all kidding aside, I got a pretty predictable response, lacking of understanding and feeling somehow fearful for me, from my family about me sharing my desire to live with an open heart. It’s not really something that I can justify or explain, but a truth that I feel. I’ve processed so much in the past two years about how or why, and it just comes down to feeling that this is who I am.
Six of Water, like the Three of Earth from yesterday’s spread, this feels like an exulted vision of celebrating sisterhood. In the past day, I’ve have three amazing conversations/visits with three amazing girlfriends. I find such joy from the ways that we can authentically sharing our lives. Being authentic and vulnerable with each other, and serving as a mirror for our inner beauty, is such a amazing way to relate. Namaste, my Sisters.
Child of Earth feels so perfect, as I am creating my new budget with my new mortgage and starting fresh on creating a home for my children.
Child of Fire, as in the spread yesterday, I know that once I tap into my true voice and feminine power that I will be able to truly inspire and transform, myself if no one else.
The Empress, or in the Gaia deck, The Gardener, was my first favorite card that I got in my first coffee shop reading in college. Often empress cards have her foot resting on a crescent moon, and that night was a crescent moon, and I felt like I was seeing it for the time. She’s obviously so feminine and so powerful.
Five of Fire has come up again again for me, as I debate with myself how to speak my truth, and really become myself. The affirmation in the Gaian Tarot guide is “I courageously face my fears.” In my astrology chart Saturn is in Leo in the 11th house, and whether Saturn is where you have your greatest fear, with Leo in the 11th, it means that I’m fearful of sharing myself and stepping onto stage as a community leader. Even though I have public speaking experience, I am always fearful. I know that it’s my “job” in this lifetime to overcome my fear, but I feel viscerally like I want to heave at the thought of being truly famous, and even though I don’t expect more than a hundred people to ever read this post, I tell myself the mantra of “courage in action” every time I push publish on a post.